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Mrs. Hughes America's funniest Grandma

Administrator — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 12:01:29 GMT

For those of you who have seen this..it is still funny . For the rest..enjoy

Go down and click on funniest Grandma.

Have your tissues handy !!!! LOL !!!!!

Mrs. Hughes: AmericaÊ¼s Funniest Grandma

how to decide

Administrator — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 10:31:39 GMT

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
(written by kids)
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like
sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips
and dip coming. -- Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to
marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're
stuck with.. -- Kristen, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by
then. -- Camille, age 10

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at
the same kids. -
- Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids. -- Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know
each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
-- Lynn , age 8 (isn't she a treasure)

On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually
gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
-- Martin, age 10

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich. -- Pam, age 7

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess
with that.
- - Curt, age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry
them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
-- Howard, age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need
someone to clean up after them. -
- Anita, age 9 (bless you child)

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
-- Kelvin, age 8

And the #1 Favorite is........

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump
truck.
-- Rick, age 10

God may have created man before woman, but there is

annabelle — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 07:14:50 GMT

*_WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST_**_ _**
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.**
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.

Keep reading-they get better!!! *

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

*_WOMEN'S REVENGE_**
'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding items
the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet , I noticed a remote
control for a television set in her purse.
'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked.
'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come
shopping with me,
and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to
him legally.' *

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

*_UNDERSTANDING WOMEN_**
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the
root,
and still be afraid of a spider. *

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

*_CIGARETTES_**_ _**_AND TAMPONS _**
A man** walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the
aisles.
The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help
him.
He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for
his wife.
She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton
balls and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused, ' Sir, I thought you were looking
for some tampons for your wife?
He answers, ' You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent
my wife to the store
to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with
a tin of tobacco
and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo
much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... so does
she.
(I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!) *

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

*_WIFE VS. HUSBAND_**
A couple drove down a country road for several miles,
not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'
'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.' *

---------------------------------------------------------------------

*_WORDS_**
A husband read an article to his wife about how many
words women use a day.
30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have
to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?' *

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

*_CREATION_**
A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you
can be** **
so stupid and so** **beautiful all at** **the same time.**
'The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you! *

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

*_WHO DOES WHAT_**
A man and his wife were having an argument about who
should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, 'You should do it because you get up first,
and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.
The husband said, 'You are in charge of cooking around
here and
you should do it, because that is your job, and I can
just wait for my coffee.'
Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is
in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.'
Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.'
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament
and showed him at the top of several pages, that it
indeed says . 'HEBREWS' *

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

*_The Silent Treatment_**
A man and his wife were having some problems at home
and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would
need his wife to wake him
at 5:0 0 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and
LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
'Please wake me at 5:00 AM.' He left it where he knew
she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it
was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight Furious, he was
about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him,
when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.'
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests. *

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

*God may have created man before woman, but there is
always a rough draft before the masterpiece *

shy man looking for a bras for his wife

annabelle — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 12:08:46 GMT

A man walked into the Ladies Department of Myer ** **and shyly walked up to* the woman behind the counter and said, *"I'd like to buy a bra for my wife. "*
*"**What type of bra?"* *asked the woman.*
*"** **Type?" inquires the man, "There's more than one type?"*
*"** Look around,"said the saleswoman,*
*as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color* *and >> material imaginable.*

*"Actually,* *even with all of this variety,*
*there are really only four types of bras to choose from** **."*

*Relieved, the man asked* *about the types.*

*The saleswoman replied:*
*"There are the Catholic,*
*the Salvation Army,*
*the Presbyterian,*
*and the Baptist types.*
*Which one would you prefer?"*

*Now totally befuddled,* *the man asked about*
*the differences between them.*
*The Saleswoman responded,*
*"It is all really quite simple.*

The Catholic type* **supports the masses;* *
**The Salvation Army type** *lifts the fallen*;*

*The Presbyterian type *keeps them staunch and upright;
*The Baptist *makes mountains out of mole hills."

** *Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the
letters used*
*to define bra sizes?*
*If you have wondered why,*
*but couldn't figure out* *what the letters stood for,*
*it is about time* *you became informed!*

*(A} Almost Boobs...**
{B} Barely there...**
{C} Can't Complain!...**
{D} Dang!...**
{DD} Double dang!...**
{E} Enormous!...**
{F} Fake...** **
{G} Get a Reduction...**
{H} Help me, I've fallen* * **and I can't get up!...* **

world facts

Administrator — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 10:18:23 GMT

MIND BOGGLING- thank you Rose

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FqfunyCeU5g&feature=related

what mom's say- its a tear jerker

Julie — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 11:26:53 GMT

You have to be a mother to get the full meaning

CLICK ONTO BELOW WEBSITE URL

<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxT5NwQUtVM>

Whenever a woman lies, it's for a good and honorable reason

Administrator — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 10:35:05 GMT

One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, 'My dear child, why are you crying?' The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family. The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with sapphires.

'Is this your thimble?' the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, 'No.'

The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a golden thimble studded with rubies.

'Is this your thimble?' the Lord asked. Again, the seamstress replied, 'No.'

The Lord reached down again and came up with a leather thimble.

'Is this your thimble?' the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, 'Yes.' The Lord was pleased with the woman's honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy.

Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank, and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the water. When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, 'Why are you crying?' 'Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!'

The Lord went down into the water and came up with George Clooney. 'Is this your husband?' the Lord asked.

'Yes,' cried the seamstress. The Lord was furious. 'You lied! That is an untruth!' The seamstress replied, 'Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to George Clooney, you would have come up with Brad Pitt.

Then, if I said 'no' to him, you would have come up with my husband. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I'm not in the best of health and would not be able to take care of all three husbands, so THAT'S why I said 'yes' to George Clooney.

And so the Lord let her keep him.

The moral of this story is:

Whenever a woman lies, it's for a good and honorable reason,

and in the best interest of others. That's our story, and we're sticking to it.

what men do to pass the time

AH — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 14:32:03 GMT

Click here: http://www.chilloutzone.de/files/player.swf?b=10&l=197&u=ILLUMllSOOAvIF//P_LxP92A42lCHCeeWCejXnHAS/c

this was sent with the caption "THIS IS INCREDIBLE"

you be the judge

store that sells husbands

walnut — Sun, 14 Oct 2007 10:09:27 GMT

A brand new store has just opened in New York City, store that sells husbands. When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance: 'You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the 1st floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs. The 2nd floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs and lovekids. The 3rd floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking. 'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the 4th floor. And the sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with housework. 'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'Still, she goes to the 5th floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with housework and have a strong romantic streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a New Wives store just across the street. The 1st floor has wives that love sex. The 2nd floor has wives that love sex and have money. The 3rd through 6th floors have never been visited.

the art of making love

annabelle — Mon, 27 Aug 2007 14:11:45 GMT

I heard it before but I NEVER get tired of it....truly one of the

greats....

The Art Of Making Love

An Italian man said, "Last week, my wife and I had great sex. I rubbed her Body all over with olive oil, we made passionate love, and she screamed for Five full minutes at the end."

A Frenchman boasted, "Last week when my wife and I had sex, I rubbed her Body all over with butter. We then made passionate love and she screamed for Fifteen minutes."

Not to be outdone, a Jewish man said, "Well, last week my wife and I also Had sex. I rubbed her body all over with schmaltz . We made Love, and she screamed for over six hours."

The other two were stunned. The amazed Frenchman asked, "What could you

have Possibly done to make your wife scream for six hours?"

The Jewish man said, "I wiped my hands on the bedspread."

men in coats

Administrator — Mon, 27 Aug 2007 08:55:36 GMT

hope you enjoy...would love to hear feedback

I thought this was terribly clean but wonderful just the same.

http://www.koreus.com/files/200505/men-in-coats.html

:laugh: